The Pain of Pregnancy Loss and Finding Hope
This year, I’ve been pregnant four times. It’s hard to even write that because the heartbreak of losing three pregnancies has been a pain so deep and shattering, it’s difficult to put into words. Each miscarriage took an immense toll on my body and mind.
As a pelvic floor therapist, I’ve dedicated my career to helping women heal from pelvic pain, dysfunction, and everything in between. But nothing could have prepared me for the intense physical and emotional struggles I’d face during my own fertility journey.
In this post, I want to share my story—the heartbreak, the healing, and how my Pelvic Rehab Fertility Certification gave me the tools to support my body and mind through it all. Through these dark times, I’ve learned more about myself than I ever could have imagined. I hope my experience can offer light and support to others facing similar battles.
The Toll of Recurrent Miscarriages
When my husband and I decided to try for a second child, I was filled with excitement. We had already had one pregnancy, so I figured that once I got pregnant again, I’d stay pregnant.
The first loss was a chemical pregnancy—a miscarriage before five weeks. We had just come back from our honeymoon and I had started bleeding while cooking dinner—pork chops and a kale salad. We went to the emergency room, where they confirmed that I was losing the pregnancy.
After the first loss, I was devastated but hopeful for the next try. The second loss came at six weeks. I started spotting during the weekend—I was actually taking another pelvic floor course that weekend. On Monday, we went for the first ultrasound, where we were told the baby had passed but my body had not fully recognized the loss. I needed medical intervention to help.
The third loss came at nine weeks. It was a missed miscarriage. At our six-week ultrasound, the baby had a heartbeat, but it was on the lower side—108 beats per minute. Two weeks later, the next ultrasound showed no heartbeat. The baby was there, but it wasn’t moving. I was shattered. Once again, I needed medical intervention.
The grief became overwhelming. I started having multiple panic attacks—something I hadn’t experienced in 10 years. The physical pain was unbearable; my pelvic floor would spasm often and cause pain. But nothing topped the emotional pain. I found myself questioning everything—my body, my worth, my future.
Facing my own issues, feeling out of control and disconnected from my body, was humbling. I struggled with guilt, shame, sadness, and frustration. Why couldn’t my body carry a pregnancy?
Learning to Heal: The Pelvic Rehab Fertility Certification
While going through these painful experiences, I was also studying for my Pelvic Rehab Fertility Certification. At first, it felt strange to focus on fertility support while I was dealing with recurrent miscarriage. But as I dove deeper into the material, I realized that everything I was learning—about pelvic alignment, pelvic muscle health, stress management, and body awareness—was helping me heal.
The certification taught me to look at fertility holistically: it’s not just about getting pregnant, but about creating a healthy environment for the body to conceive and sustain a pregnancy. The education I was receiving gave me practical tools to address pelvic floor tension, hormonal imbalances, and emotional trauma. These tools became my lifeline, and applying them to my own body was incredibly healing.
By learning to manage my pelvic health, I began to feel more in control of my body—even when I couldn’t control my fertility. I worked on relaxing my pelvic floor, nourishing my body, and calming my nervous system. These techniques helped me release tension, reduce emotional stress, and create the physical environment my body needed to heal and restore balance.
The Power of Education: How I Healed
The education I received during my certification wasn’t just about physical techniques—it was about empowerment. I learned how to reconnect with my body in ways I hadn’t before. I saw my body not as broken, but as resilient and capable of healing. The techniques I learned helped me manage the physical pain from miscarriage and gave me the mental clarity to move forward.
Here are some of the tools that helped me during this journey:
- Pelvic floor relaxation: Tight pelvic muscles can obstruct blood flow to the reproductive organs, so relaxation and release techniques were crucial for me.
- Nervous system regulation: Emotional trauma and stress affect fertility, so focusing on stress management helped my body respond better to the situation.
- Lymphatic flow: I used manual lymphatic drainage techniques to improve circulation and support my body’s natural healing process.
- Mind-body connection: Practicing mindfulness and body awareness helped me release emotional tension tied to my fertility struggles.
- Education: Knowing what tests to advocate for was key in helping me maintain my pregnancy and get the support I needed.
The more I applied these tools, the more I felt my body becoming stronger, more balanced, and more at peace. This journey has taught me that healing is a process—not just physical, but emotional too.
A Journey of Healing and Empowerment
Though I’ve faced heartbreaking loss this year, I’ve also gained a deeper understanding of the healing potential of pelvic health, emotional resilience, and education. The pain of pregnancy loss is unimaginable, but through it all, I’ve learned how to take control of my body and my health in ways that empower me during a time when I felt so out of control.
I now view my fertility journey as one of resilience and perseverance. The tools I’ve learned through my Pelvic Rehab Fertility Certification have not only helped me cope with the physical aspects of fertility struggles but have also allowed me to empower myself—and my clients—in ways that feel truly healing.
Moving Forward with Hope
I am now 21 weeks pregnant, and as I type this, I can feel my baby kicking—a feeling I never thought I’d be lucky enough to experience again. Pregnancy after loss has been challenging for my anxiety, but I rejoice in this blessing. I know that I’ve provided a safe space for this little boy for the past five months, and that’s something I’ll never take for granted.
I am filled with gratitude for the tools that have helped me heal. I now know that my body is capable of so much more than I realized—and I’m excited to use my own experience to help others.
If you’re struggling with fertility challenges, know that you’re not alone. You deserve support, and you deserve to feel empowered. The tools I’ve learned can help create a healthy, balanced environment for your body to heal and optimize fertility.
If you’d like to learn more about how pelvic health can support fertility, or if you’re ready to take control of your own fertility journey, let’s connect.
I am offering free 15 minute consultation where we can discuss how pelvic PT can help you on your personal fertility journey.
Lastly, I just want to thank you for allowing me to be vulnerable in this post. I hope you feel less alone reading this if you are currently struggling. And if you are currently in the thick of it, I see you and my heart is with you.